When Disappointment Looms

Warning…whiny post ahead…

“Disappointment is sort of bankruptcy – the bankruptcy of a soul that expends too much in hope and expectation.”

I wish I was one of those happy-go-lucky people who can deal with a curveball. I tend to get my hopes up over a situation and then get disappointed. For me, disappointment triggers feelings of sadness, loss of hope and anger (which I tend to bottle up if I am not careful).

I’ve learned I need to adjust my expectations and not take things personally.

I met a guy. A really cute guy. One who is giving and kind. One with qualities I admire. One new to my city. One who shares a lot of interests with me.

But, of course, he has a (new-ish) girlfriend. One who doesn’t appear to be going anywhere.

And to be honest – he probably doesn’t know I am interested in him because I don’t think I would have found the courage to express my feelings even if he was single.

I am a good person and I feel I have a lot to give. It is just incredibly difficult being patient. I wasted so much time with Aaron but until the end, I didn’t have enough courage to leave. I’ve been on dates lately but nothing life-shattering.  

I’m down 30 pounds and my self-confidence is higher than ever. I believe there is someone out there for me, but why is it so hard to find someone who is single and who doesn’t consider their elderly parents their forever roommates?

When things get tough, I try to remind myself of my good qualities. Affirmations, so to speak. So here it goes:

I am kind.

I am a good friend/girlfriend.

I am smart.

I am hard working.

I am thoughtful.

I am a good listener.

I am funny.

I have good taste.

I am firm in my beliefs.

I enjoy helping others.

I am a good writer.

I am drama-free.

I am honest.

I am creative.

I am respectful of others.

I am polite.

I am reliable/dependable.

I am ambitious.

And I matter.

I challenge you to write down all your good qualities or what you like most about yourself the next time you find yourself disappointed. Remind yourself that you and your feelings matter.

And if you need another reason to smile – invest in some self-care or do something that’ll fill your soul. Enjoying the outdoors (after ingesting a good dose of allergy medicine) or taking a nap (quite the opposite of enjoying the outdoors) are my go-to soul-filling activities.