Leaps of Faith

I used to think of myself as a risk-taker and someone who, no matter the situation, was brave enough to take a leap of faith. When it came to employment, I was never scared to leave one job for another. I knew better things were coming as I closed each new chapter to start a new one.

At least I did until 2016, when I resigned from a job I had for five years for something brand new. Everything on paper was great – closer to home, a well-known company, more money, better title and increased responsibility.

Sadly, after just a few months, the corporation eliminated several departments (including mine) leaving dozens of men and women unemployed (including me). I was devastated. I didn’t see it coming and I was doing so well in my new role. I was exceeding my goals, my boss was phenomenal and I was proud of my accomplishments. I loved the people and my tasks. I didn’t look back to my old job for a single second during that short time. Boy-oh-boy was I heartbroken when I received the bad news.

For the next three months, I cried every day. I lost my self-confidence, a lot of hair from the stress and my appetite. I was happy to lose weight, as maintaining a healthy weight has been a lifelong struggle for me, but since I wasn’t eating much my energy levels plummeted – a poor trade in my opinion. The lack of work hit me way harder than I imagined.

I received a severance package, unemployment benefits and my parents loaned me money to get by. I was still so heartbroken to be in the position of need. My job and being independent had always been my identity.

I was submitting resumes daily and going on interviews frequently. In the big picture, my job search wasn’t terribly long but at the time, it felt like forever. I finally landed on my feet.

But even then, when things got better, I kept thinking what would have happened if I hadn’t left the job I had prior…I was looking back too much. There would have been a steady paycheck during the lull – sure – but I had to keep reminding myself of the reasons I chose to leave in the first place. It was neither a healthy environment nor an encouraging one.

Now, four years later, my life is so much better in every way than it was while I was at either of those jobs. I’m doing well and I am grateful every day for all I have.

I had a rough patch but I made it through and I have compassion for anyone facing unemployment today. I would never want to experience those feelings again, but I am stronger and more resilient for them. That particular leap of faith had a solid beginning and led to a strong end, but there was a painful dip in the middle that words can’t describe.

I’d be lying if I said taking leaps of faith (big or small) since then have been easy. I’ve seen this particular worst-case-scenario situation develop from a leap of a faith but I’ve seen way more best-case-scenarios in my lifetime.

I like to think that good things (almost) always develop from bad situations. And even four years later as I still heal from that trauma, I wholeheartedly believe that leaps of faith paired with courage will always lead you somewhere better.