I follow Anna Kloots on Instagram – if you’re not one of her 123K followers, I encourage you to become one!
Last week, Anna read an essay aloud entitled “Le Divorce.” It was incredibly moving and relatable. Anna is an early-thirty-something divorcee with a big story to tell. I’ve never met her but I feel that we have a lot in common, with the exception being that she’s super slim and resembles a model and I…well…don’t. We’re roughly the same age, we both enjoy traveling to new cities alone, we’re both from the Midwest and both love glitter (hello – I love it so much it’s in the title of my blog!). We both recently ended long-term relationships and love to celebrate accomplishments – big or small.
I’ve mentioned Aaron before. We were never married, but we were together for five years. Anna’s essay especially hit home when she mentioned her former spouse was less-than-enthusiastic toward celebrating milestones.
Aaron’s idea of any celebration involved us ordering Subway sandwiches and going dutch. He didn’t care much for special occasions – to him, someone’s birthday (even his) was just another ho-hum day.
I’ve celebrated my birthday, Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, our anniversary and lifelong dreams coming to life by unwrapping a toasted turkey sub while sitting in a cramped booth covered in bread crumbs. I was vocal about wanting to do more for those occasions but he never desired to venture anywhere besides his beloved Subway.
We had to eat at Subway for every meal when we were traveling, before a concert or a trip to the movie theatre – he would pout if I even suggested anything else. His pout was often followed by the reminder that he eats for the nutrition and not for joy – like I apparently did.
He was open about his passion for Subway and would often say he could eat it every day which he seemingly did. For Aaron, there was no other establishment that would do if we were eating out – it had to be Subway. Now, don’t get me wrong, I used to like Subway before I met Aaron and even when we were newly dating – I really did but it got stale quickly (pun intended). Now even the aroma I smell from walking past a Subway makes me nauseous. It made me nauseous even before we split but if we had a long day out together and I didn’t bring anything to eat, it was starve or go to Subway.
I’m not saying every positive milestone should involve a four-course meal and a fancy dress, or even marked by food, but sometimes it is fun to get dressed up and eat something that’s not a turkey sub – it makes me feel special and helps create memories.
Aaron’s attitude toward birthdays and anniversaries isn’t wrong and mine isn’t either but it was just one of the many reasons we weren’t meant to be.
Now I’m not against splurging for guac at Chipotle if I’ve had a good day, but I’ll DVR a movie or a TV show I like and save it to watch after something painful that’s on my schedule (a dreaded meeting, an uncomfortable doctor’s office visit, etc.) as something to look forward to.
In my book, an extraordinary day sometimes calls for a purchase. When something positive takes place, I like to buy an inexpensive item to add to my wardrobe or to display in my home so when I wear it or look at it, I’m reminded of the reason I bought it. It helps me remember a moment in time I don’t want to forget.
Anna ends “Le Divorce” by saying she’s going to celebrate the date of her wedding later this month by having a party with friends. She said she’s “taking the day back.”
I did just that same thing this year on Valentine’s Day. It was my first Valentine’s Day alone in five years and after work, I ordered a heart-shaped pizza for dinner. There was no sadness – just me eating pizza in my pajamas which was a lot more thrilling than it sounds. Yes – my new tradition involved food – and yes – pizza is unhealthier than a turkey sub – but boy-oh-boy it was yummy. I took the day back and started anew.
Building new traditions is often necessary and good for the soul.
And if I’m lucky, hopefully sooner rather than later, I’ll be creating new traditions with a brand new love – one who agrees that big celebrations are necessary for lifelong happiness.
Glitter on the Sidewalk 